you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
