my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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