Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
