Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Fuck appropriateness.
Everything about him screamed your future.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
