I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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