Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
