I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
