Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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