More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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