girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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