I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
