Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
