I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
