So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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