She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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