Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
