he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
