Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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