that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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