Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
