my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
