i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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