I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was a blind-side dick pic.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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