I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
