Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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