Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
