Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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