Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Im part way to drunk.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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