You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
