yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Quick, to the slutcave!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
