I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
