My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
id be glad to
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
