You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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