and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
