He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
