We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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