It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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