ya dads aren't the best wingmen
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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