you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
