I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
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