Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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