let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
