i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
