one two three fourrrrnication!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
