Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
