first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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