So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
