i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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