We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
a search helicopter?!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
