My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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