So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
