so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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