did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
