who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Randomize
