She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
