okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
