Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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