yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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