One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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