Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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