She said her name was "party"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
