I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
honey bunches of taint.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize