Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
