Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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