So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
